dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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