Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
