So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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