Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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