Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
