just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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