So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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