nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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