he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
