I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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