Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
