$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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