i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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