Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
