I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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