I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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