im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
