I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
