brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
