don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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