Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
