Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
