I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
