all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
