i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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