I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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