We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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