singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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