I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
