That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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