K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its not stalking. its research.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
