too bad you live with your parents still
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
