how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
