the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
