time to smoke my breakfast
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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