I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
