life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
