Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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