i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
