You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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