She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
