I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You need a sexual gate keeper
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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