guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
