dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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