If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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