Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
