If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
