Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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