Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
