woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
